Vaccine Hesitancy & Autism: A Mother's Perspective

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As a psychiatrist, I spend a lot of time thinking about behavior change and modification. Changing any behavior is very difficult. Imagine the last time you decided to start going to the gym, what did you have to do to prepare? how long did it take you to select a gym? when did you actually start going to the gym? how long did you go to the gym and are you still going? That is a desired and planned behavior change that you worked on. Now imagine how difficult it is to truly impact behavior change in people who are resistant. Most days, I am amazed that anyone manages to change their behavior at all. This approach has helped me manage my feelings around treating substance use disorders, but also helped me manage my feelings around medical misinformation and vaccine hesitancy.

A gloved hand holds a syringe filled with a dark liquid, highlighting the precision and care involved in medical procedures.

Like many medical providers, I am quite frustrated with vaccine hesitancy. As a mother, I am quite livid about vaccine hesitancy (I'm sorry, I'm a mama bear). I want my child and yours to be safe from infectious diseases. Even if vaccines did cause Autism, which they do not, I would still vaccinate my child. I'd rather have a child with Autism Spectrum Disorder than no child at all. The fear of Autism Spectrum Disorder is very perplexing to me, especially in light of increased understanding of Autism Spectrum Disorder since the beginning of the pandemic.

Am I saying that there are no risks with vaccines? No. There are risks with vaccines. The most scary one is Guillain barre syndrome (GBS). This is a demyelinating disease (damages nerves) that can occur after a viral infection or a vaccine which can result in death. It is a very rare complication of vaccines. A history of GBS is one of the few contraindications to vaccines and fascinatingly my patients with a history of GBS have been the most adamant about getting vaccines! I've now had two patients who had GBS twice and both of them decided to get their COVID vaccines. This really blew my mind, these people with one of the highest risks of complications were still motivated to get vaccines? Wow.

So what is the deal with vaccine hesitancy in mothers? Especially considering that most mothers are in fact vaccinated themselves. Why withhold this medical care from our beautiful children? Well, I do have a hypothesis about the why. I'm not sure what your experience was like during pregnancy, but mine was pretty terrible. The actual pregnancy was rough and complicated, but that part would have been far more tolerable if I had felt that I had access to high quality and competent medical care. As I reflect upon my pregnancy, I think about the trauma of not being listened to by my obgyn, mfm, and other medical providers. I felt like less of a person in these scenarios. I felt that my body and soul were not respected by the medical establishment. I felt completely written off and ignored. I am still angry about this experience. I am not one to hold grudges, but I do hold several grudges from how people treated me during my pregnancy. I have had thoughts of wanting to yell at people who did not respect my body and I do genuinely hope to never see their faces again.

A serene black and white portrait captures a pregnant woman gently cradling her belly, reflecting the beauty and anticipation of motherhood.

My hope is that my experience is uncommon, but given the rates of postpartum mood and anxiety disorders as well as PTSD following birth, I believe that my experience was not exceptional. As a woman, who was traumatized during pregnancy, I found it hard to trust the medical care of my child. I realize that my son's pediatrician and my obgyn are not the same person or even practice, yet my distrust persists. In fact, due to a medical error that occurred in the hospital (inaccurate report of my son's birth weight to his pediatrician), my anger towards the medical establishment persists. This error almost required a hospitalization for my son because my pediatrician told us to stop feeding him in the night because she thought he had regained his birth weight. He had not and he was severely underweight, I have photos on my iphone circling round and round of my precious underweight infant. I love the photos of my beautiful baby, but the anger I feel when I see this skinny infant remains. How could they let this happen?

One of your first decisions as a mother, is whether to vaccinate your child. You are now charged with the protection of this beautiful little being and you are expected to trust the same medical establishment that did not respect your body or wishes with this little creature. A small infant that needs to be fed every 2-3 hours like a real life Tamagotchi? I believe that women feel that they need a sense of control and one of the ways mothers grasp at this is vaccine resistance and hesitancy. You may not have been able to say no or yes to the medical procedures that you needed while pregnant, but now you do have control of the decisions you make about the body of your child (who may still feel like a part of your body).

A playful baby in a diaper lies on a soft blanket, curiously exploring their tiny feet with their hands.

I wanted to write this post to acknowledge that the medical establishment fails women. I believe women deserve better access to medical care and to be able to consent about procedures being done to our bodies. The way to assert our locus of control and sense of self worth after this trauma is not refusing vaccines. This puts our children at unnecessary risks for no benefit. There are better ways to assert yourself and undo the trauma you experienced during pregnancy and postpartum. You could join me in working to be an advocate for women. Turn your pain and suffering into something positive whether its something as small as giving a meal to a new mom or training to be a doula in your community. We can do this together.

Two individuals sit closely together on a bed, offering each other comfort and support in a tranquil setting.